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The Monster Ball - Dialogue transcript

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This page is a dialogue transcription of The Monster Ball Tour for 2010.

Notes

  • Varies in different countries.

Cast

  • Bang Bang: Ameera Perkins
  • Champagne: Charity Davis
  • Posh: Posh! The Prince
  • Victor Rojas: Replaced Posh (Intro) in 2011
  • Ian McKenzie: Replaced Posh (Angler Fish) in 2011
  • Gaga: Lady Gaga

Act I: City

1. Intro Film

Gaga: I'm

Gaga: I'm

Gaga: I'm A Free

Gaga: I'm A Free

Gaga: I'm A Free

Gaga: I'm A Free

Gaga: I'm A Free Bitch Baby

Gaga: I'm A Free Bitch Baby

Gaga: I'm A Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Free, Bitch

Gaga: I'm A Free Bitch Baby

Gaga: I'm A Free Bitch Baby

Gaga: I'm A Free Bitch Baby

2. Dance in the Dark

Posh: Girls? Are ya'll getting ready? Peppah?

Peppah: Yes, Posh I'm getting ready? Hey Bang Bang are you getting ready?

Bang Bang: Of Course I'm getting ready. Hey Shompane you getting ready girl?

Peppah: I'm already ready baby.

Posh: Well let's get it honey

[Resume Dance in the Dark]

3. Glitter and Grease

Posh: Ohh No!

Bang Bang: Posh are we breaking down?

Posh: Uopp! Just give me a second.

Bang Bang: Where's Gaga anyways ? and where's my lipstick?

Posh: Shut up!

Peppah: Now we're never gonna make it to the Monster Ball!!

Gaga: Yes you will.. I'll take you there!

[Glitter and Grease begins]

4. Just Dance

[Near the end of Just Dance]

Gaga: "Alright, Jesus, let's show NOTE1 how do we play guitar in NYC."

Gaga: NOTE 1

Gaga: Now Jump NOTE 1

5. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich

[About 1 minute into Beautiful Dirty Rich]

Gaga: Now get your pockets out and shoot that money 'cause you don't need it. NOTE1

6. Vanity

Posh: So...Gaga, what's The Monster Ball really all about?

Gaga: Well Posh... The Monster Ball will set you free!!

Posh: Do you mean... I could be who ever... what ever... that I want to be free?

Gaga: Yeah Posh, tonight at The Monster Ball, were gonna be super free.

[Pause]

Gaga: And the best thing about The Monster Ball is that I created it so my fans have a place to go. A place where all the freaks are outside and I lock the fucking doors. It don't matter who you are, where you come from, or how much money you got in your pocket because tonight and every other after night you could be who ever is that you want to be. And to get to The Monster Ball all you got to do is follow the Glitter Way.

[Vanity begins]

Gaga: I wrote this song about four years ago when I was living in New York with Posh. This record is called Vanity.

[Vanity]

7. The Fame

Gaga: Do you love me? Well I love you NOTE1! So come on! Take my picture I wanna be a NOTE1 star.

[The Fame begins]

[In between the chorus]

Gaga: You don't need money or plastic surgery to be a star NOTE1.

8. Puke Film

There is no dialogue during this interlude.

Act II: Subway

9. LoveGame

On the windows of the train: 42nd St / Glitter Way / Monster Ball

Operator: Welcome aboard the Gaga Express!

Watch your step!
Next stop, "Glitter Way".

[After Just Dance and Poker Face]

Operator: Emergency, Emergency there's something in the tracks!

During the Chew Fu Ghettohouse Fix:
Okay... I don't know if you've heard,
but I have a pretty tremendous dick.
So come on! Get your dicks out.

Because I heard, they have some pretty big cocks here in (location)!
Welcome to The Monster Ball... NOW DANCE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

10. Boys Boys Boys

Gaga: Uh no, I don't know what I'm going to do. You see I told my friends about The Monster Ball. I told them that The Monster Ball will set them free. So we got into the car but my car broke down. So I took them to the subway which always gets me where I need to go. But the Subway has left us in a strange place. And I just have no fucking clue where we are. Do you think I should ask my friends for some help? You know my deepest and most loyal friends? You know all my NOTE1 gay kids!

[Boys Boys Boys begin]


This is for boys and girls! Celebrate your gay pride!

11. Money Honey

Gaga: Does anyone know what I hate? I hate Money.

[Keytar Solo]

Gaga: I don't want your money. I want your soul. I don't want your Money Honey. Come on!

[Money Honey begins]

12. Telephone

Gaga: I remember I was in prison early this year. I'll never forget it when Beyoncé called to bail me out

[Telephone begins]

  • Depending on the country, she will often say that "Telephone" went number one.

Alternatively, if she calls someone in the audience to upgrade their seats, the dialogue will be as follows: Gaga: (While on the phone with fan on phone) Oh, it seems I'm getting another call. (Looks at phone, clicks) Beyoncé? That shady bitch! [Telephone resumes]

[The second chorus begins]

Gaga: Come on, sing Beyoncé's part.

13. Brown Eyes

There is no dialogue during this song.

14. Speechless

  • The Monster Claw Story (See Little Monsters)
  • Her life as a teen in New York.
  • How she became who she is today, and her challenges

15. Twister Film

Gaga: And so, as my friends and I traveled further and further down the glitter way, we ran into a magical angel with a beautiful black harp. And she said that she knew just the music to play to get us closer and closer to The Monster Ball.

[Pause]

Gaga: Oh, what's that thing way up in the sky? It's very beautiful but very strange. Is it rainbow? No. Ohh, I don't feel so well. Little Monster... I'm feeling very strange. Oh no it's a twister!

Act III: Forest

16. So Happy I Could Die

Gaga: Oh Little Monsters, you make me So Happy I Could Die.

[So Happy I Could Die begins]

[Middle - End of the song] Gaga: I had to build my stage like this so I could be here with all of you. I love you, remember that every single part of you is living.

[Chorus]

17. Antler Film

Gaga: The twister has left us in a very strange place... in a deep, dark, and evil place... a forest... in the deepest and darkest part of Central Park.

18. Monster

There is no dialogue during this song.

19. Teeth

Gaga: Do you think I'm sexy? 'Cause I think you're sexy. I don't believe you. Do you think I'm sexy?
You know I'm kinda like Tinker Bell. If you don't clap for her, she dies.

Do you want me to die?
I am not a Monster!
Hey Hey... NOTE1
Does anyone here know what I hate more than money?
I hate... the truth. Infact, I hate the truth so much, I'd prefer a giant dose of bullshit anyday over the truth.
So... NOTE1
Show me your Teeth!
After song
Hey everybody this is Michael , Say hello to Michael. Michael is from Germany, Wie gehts Michael ?
I like Michael because he likes NOTE1 Girls, I also like Michael because Michael likes NOTE1 boys. Just like Jesus , Michael loves Everybody ! so micheal SHOW ME YOUR TEETH !

20. Alejandro

[Intro] Gaga: There it is, the Eternal Fountain ... the only fountain in the world that bleeds for you.. 'cause my religion is you little monsters. Tonight my religion is NOTE 1
Oh-oh-oh-oh Alejandro Ale-Alejandro

[Alejandro begins]

21. Lil Monster Film (Manifesto of Little Monsters)

See the Monster Film page for the transcription of this interlude.

22. Poker Face

Gaga: Yeah... Can't hear you NOTE1! Put your hands up... now dance!

23. Apocalyptic Film

There is no dialogue during this song.

Act IV: Monster Ball

24. Paparazzi

Gaga: Guys, I think The Monster Ball is just up ahead!

Posh: Ga-ga ar-re you sure about this? It's-it's really dark.

Gaga: Posh?... Champagne...?

Champagne: I'm here Gaga.. But I don't think I want to go anymore... We've been walking all day Gaga.

Gaga: Bang Bang...?

Bang Bang: You know, I'm starting to think that this whole Monster Ball thing doesn't really exist Gaga.

Champagne: Me too.

Gaga: Come on guys, you just gotta have faith. The Monster Ball is the best party on the planet! We can't turn back now.

Shampane: I don't know about this Monster Ball, it's so dark. You know what? I think I should just go.

Bang Bang: Yeah!

Gaga: What Guys?

Champagne: Come on Posh!!

Posh: Babe... Sorry I gotta go...

Gaga: You guys, you can't leave me here It's dark you can't leave me by myself..

Shit!
No! It's the monster... It's the Fame Monster

[About 1 minute into Paparazzi] Gaga: OK, you guys. I can't kill the monster all by myself... You have your cameras. Take his picture!!

[About 20 - 30 seconds ] Gaga: Oh no he's taking off my clothes.

[2nd Chorus] Gaga: Don't rape me. Don't rape me, you evil monster! Just eat me you motherfucker!! [To Monster]

[After Paparazzi is finished] Gaga: When people ask you, how it was at the Monster Ball in NOTE1, you'll tell them: WE BURNT THE PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND!

Gaga: We did it! We killed him ! Now, all we got to do is get to The Monster Ball... Good night NOTE 1 Good night!

25. Bad Romance

  • On October 26, 2010, Gaga added in extra dialogue to celebrate the one year anniversary of Bad Romance.

Gaga: Did you know, that today was Bad Romance's one year anniversary? That means one year from today, Bad Romance went on iTunes, and I wrote this silly little song that would become a big hit in Ireland.

[Bad Romance begins]

Gaga: We did it. We made it to The Monster Ball. "Are You drunk NOTE1? Did you have the time of your life? Now put your paws up and dance!

26. Fan Film

End of the show.

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