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V (magazine)/US/2012/79

< V (magazine) | US | 2012

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V79: The Travel Issue (Fall 2012)Edit

GAGA MEMORANDUM NO. 7Edit

The Beauty Files

HOLD ON. BEFORE YOU READ, THIS YOU MUST BE AWARE THAT MANICURES ARE EXTREMELY UNDERRATED! YOU MAY ALREADY BE ROLLING YOUR EYES, BUT PLEASE LET ME GET A WORD IN ABOUT THIS!

I find that any woman—no matter how stylishly she is dressed—is instantly above the rest if well-manicured. I know this may sound harsh, but perhaps if I beat it into you, you will CUT THOSE CUTICLES. TAKE the time for yourself, do it more frequently, just to stay in a nice self-compassionate habit. Grab a coffee and a magazine, this moment is just for you. Also, if you don’t have the money, doing it at home by yourself is an excellent hobby (spring for fun nail products to make this more enjoyable), and tell your friends that manicure-related products make good gifts! If you are not pressed for cash, find and kidnap the best nail technician in your city and make her your best friend (when you’re trying to close that deal with Coca-Cola, your shiny talons will come in handy, I promise).

SIX REASONS YOU SHOULD DO THIS: 1) HAVING A PERFECT MANICURE INSTANTLY MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL AND CLEAN. 2) YOU’LL BE READY FOR SEX OR TO PUT A PENIS IN YOUR HAND. 3) IT’S A WAY FOR YOU TO EXPRESS YOURSELF (CAREFUL HOW YOU DO THAT). 4) IT FORCES YOU TO SEE THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF. 5) IT BOOSTS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM EVERYDAY. 6) IT PROJECTS AN IMAGE OF SUCCESS, WHICH IS GOOD FOR BIZ.

So, for my dear veteran salon goers, I’m including some more adventurous options and tips on how I like to do my nails. Thank you to my amazing manicurists, Aya, Emma, Marian, and Deborah, for always taking care of my prims. And to Freddie for gluing on my nails, Brandon for telling me when I need a manicure, and Tara for telling me I don’t. LADY GAGA

P.S. Ladies in lights, in the magazines, and on red carpets—know that I am judging your cuticles…but that’s about it.

NAIL OF THE MONTH Push elegance. This is the Born This Way Ball nail, the one I wear in the show. It's meant to be the nail bed of an alien, pretty princess, or Polly Pocket fugitive-aka iridescent pink tone gel. Any question?

GLAMOROUS Okay, this is an epic manicure-not for every woman to love, but for every women to try on or admire. Try these larger rhinestones for a cheaper take on crystals. I love the aurora borealis effect.

CLEAN Can't go wrong. Goes with everything: work, party, sex, dinner. This nail is fab. I suggest getting them filed with an extra pointy to add some personality.

ART For the creative! I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS NAILS! It is TRUE RED LEATHER UPHOLSTERY. Great for a special occasion or photo opportunity. Careful when you are eating. Find a Japanese nail artist to make these for you- you need a good nail technician to put these off. The beauty is in the art of illusion. From far away they are a sexy, clean and rounded red, but more close-up your nails are teeny-they design handbags. The texture is beautiful.

SEXY I love this nail because it's a little more dangerous. There is nothing sexier than a woman who could either kiss you or gun you down! I love to put a lover's initials in the jewels, it makes it fun!

P.S. Ladies in lights, in the magazines, and on red carpets—know that I am judging your cuticles…but that’s about it.

PHOTOGRAPHY SPENCER HIGGINS NAILS AND MANICURE AYA FUKUDA USING SWAROVSKI ELEMENTS LADY GAGA ARTWORK RUBEN TER-SARKISSIAN

HAND MODEL CHRISTINA AMBERS (PARTS MODELS LLC) PHOTO ASSISTANT JASON FALCHOOK RETOUCHING VIEW IMAGING HAND ILLUSTRATION ELI ROSENBLOOM SPECIAL THANKS LANE BENTLEY </poem>

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